6 Tips To Deal With The Negative Comments That Come With Self Improvement

6 Tips To Deal With The Negative Comments That Come With Self Improvement

When we make positive changes and pursue self improvement, we sometimes attract negative comments from our friends and loved ones. It doesn’t matter if you start taking your fitness seriously, starting a business, or implementing the charisma tips you see on this channel, whenever you start to grow there are inevitably people who would like to see you stay the same

In this video I want to teach you how to deal with negative comments and hopefully turn that negativity to positivity. There are 6 tips I cover which are

1. Use the toddler technique
2. Purposely misinterpret passive aggressive questions
3. Answer their questions with vulnerability
4. Use the 1 sentence rebuttal
5. Don’t recruit; live it
6. Find one other person

Those 6 things have been a huge help in removing negativity from my own life. I hope you find them helpful in removing negative comments and negative friends from yours.

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    • Trent Kelly
    • November 29, 2017

    You don’t have to go to college and pay thousands of dollars to learn about philosophy.

      • Greg Smith
      • January 31, 2018

      Trent Kelly you could say the same about any subject really

      • Trent Kelly
      • February 1, 2018

      Greg Smith agreed

    • Commissar Gamza
    • July 19, 2017

    When people say something like “I could never do that” I normally reply with “You should believe in yourself more” and I pose it as a serious statement. Or I’ll follow up with “I can help you overcome that weakness, if you would like help”
    I always like to be a little more blunt when someone is attempting to be rude, I see it as “enough about me let’s focus on your inabilities”

    • Julian Pleyer
    • November 21, 2016

    This is by far one of the best channels on YT. These are exactly the Videos, that i´m interested in and i´ve gained so much knowledge in such a short time by whatching them. Thanks for your effort and keep going. You´ve got my Support!

      • Fortnite Battle royal
      • November 22, 2016

      Julian Pleyer ya ur a great help keep going you got all our support

      • Fortnite Battle royal
      • November 22, 2016

      Julian Pleyer btw I own a philosophy store

      • Fortnite Battle royal
      • November 22, 2016

      Julian Pleyer it’s called phill pholosify

      • Shola Tv
      • December 2, 2016

      Julian Pleyer Agree this was so helpful and i subscribed. 🙂

      • TheBookieMonster
      • January 18, 2017

      Yes, tomorrow you will go to school and you won’t feel like a looser.

    • Thomas Toledo
    • September 28, 2016

    Oh my God your face is so intriguing. The way your mouth moves, your eyebrows. It’s so coooool ohmahgawd

      • Thomas Toledo
      • October 10, 2016


      • November 16, 2016


      • Colm Yethon
      • November 26, 2016

      ANARCHIST all right, we get it your gay.

      • Roland
      • April 28, 2017

      That’s a little homo bro

      • Thomas Toledo
      • April 28, 2017

      Hey I’m gonna call out special facial features on stuff alright/

    • Ben Fitterman
    • September 15, 2016

    Great advice for sound engineers. It’s hard to work in a stressful environment and then have someone throw a negative comment in the mix. It’s taken years to learn how not to over react. Thanks!

      • Charisma on Command
      • September 15, 2016

      Appreciate that!

    • Roger Hornaday
    • July 30, 2016

    It doesn’t matter how you react to a negative comment so long as you walk away satisfied with yourself and so long as you keep from getting arrested.

    • Brett Balsam
    • July 7, 2016

    3:14 In your example for ‘purposely misinterpreting passive aggressive questions’, you answered ‘No, I don’t think that is a good idea’ to the question ‘What are you going to do, open a philosophy store?’

    This response seems rather negative, or even passive aggressive as well. Is that really the best way to address a passive aggressive question? Since you are a philosophy student, I’m sure you’re quite familiar with epistemology. Could it be better to take an epistemological approach, for example, in response to the question ‘What are you going to do, open a philosophy store?’ perhaps saying ‘Do you think I should open a philosophy store?’

    This response is similar to your approach in that it takes their question literally, but is not a negative response. How do you think someone would respond to that question? @Charlie, I’m curious your thoughts on this approach.

      • H. Franzén
      • October 3, 2016

      Do you think “Do you think I should open a philosophy store?” will not be interpreted as passively aggressive?

      • Brett Balsam
      • October 4, 2016

      In what way do you think “Do you think I should open a philosophy store?” is passive aggressive question?

      • H. Franzén
      • October 4, 2016

      +Brett Balsam Well, it just seems like a very serious question which requires an answer, and not a way to quickly dismiss negativity. I’m not saying it’s a horrible way to handle it however, just not better than what he recommends.

      • Brett Balsam
      • October 4, 2016

      +H. Franzén The main reason I brought this up is that he is suggesting dismissing a negative comment with a cold shoulder, which I interpret as dismissing negativity with negativity. When someone asks “What are you going to do, open a philosophy store?”, while it may be interpreted as negativity, the individual making the statement is likely just teasing. Giving a cold shoulder, or the silent treatment is passive aggressive behavior which I do not feel is appropriate.

      • Dylandog Untamed
      • October 13, 2016

      I thought his response was great and I would never see it as passive aggressive, but your reply is also very well-put; particularly because it is a question which begs an answer, which gets them to consider the way they’re talking to you, while his method seems more revolved on quickly dismissing it. There’s definitely appeal in both your responses and I appreciate you sharing your idea.

    • StuffandThings85
    • June 9, 2016

    “I studied philosophy.”

    or…did you??

    • Dee Gray
    • May 22, 2016

    omg…I had to deal with a negative comment. The person I was talking to, said actually what you said in your video. “That why I will never do that!” then they gave that little “I am better than you laugh” My brain was like..say it say it say it!!!!…. I very politely said… “That is why we are different.” (could remember actually what you said..dang) And let the awkward silence linger. They had no come back, no laughing no nothing….. then was so nice afterwards…. THANK YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!

      • Marie Benard
      • July 8, 2016


      • W M
      • August 23, 2016

      nice one!!!

    • Quill Stroke Gaming
    • May 10, 2016

    You should cover your biceps. I can’t take my eyes off them.

      • Sai Bliss Bliss
      • July 29, 2016

      +Jelena Gross Highest obesity rate in the world BB

      • Halher -
      • August 27, 2016

      +Sai Bliss shut them up

      • Crintos' Kingdom
      • October 20, 2016

      What if that is a charism tip?

      • San R
      • March 3, 2017

      Is that sexual harassment?

      • Dekiru Kun
      • April 5, 2017

      is that what you mean when you said that to him ?

    • SomeSayApple
    • May 9, 2016

    Try going vegan… probably the most ethical thing one can do and yet the backlash is insane!

      • SomeSayApple
      • May 16, 2016

      +Guy Incognito Well you’re the ignorant one then. I do see the bigger picture of destruction of the planet. In our global society it is easier to change your way of eating than changing anything else…

      • Guy Incognito
      • May 16, 2016

      +SomeSayApple So everyone needs to change their eating habits because of YOUR conciseness? Quite frankly I rather see he end of sports(figure out how much they eat), business, cheaply made products, hairs dyes, makeup etc etc…but hey you think focusing on one issue that you have been brainwashed to believe in is the cause is going to save the planet. Of course you wont change your ways until it is too late. If you don’t think business in general is the problem and say It can;t be changed and just focus on the meat than I have no time for you..take care, BTW having a mince pork roast this evening.

      • Nathan
      • January 1, 2018

      Leave him alone. He’s obviously triggered by the unwelcome possibility of making real sacrifice in his life for the betterment of everyone and the entire Planet so relies on pathetic diversionary arguments to defend his ego.

    • JustinTime
    • May 4, 2016

    I wish I found this video earlier, but I’m glad I did!
    Great content and I’ll definitely subcribe!

    • sprained ankle
    • April 29, 2016

    Excellent video! This will help with talking to ignorant family and coworkers

      • sprained ankle
      • April 29, 2016

      Had to watch this again it was so good

      • Maria DeArman
      • May 15, 2016

      +surfvegan Same here =)

    • Awkward-To-Awesome
    • April 27, 2016

    Would like to see, unless you already have, a few tips on how to say no. Specifically to someone you love.

      • Misgates
      • April 28, 2016

      +charismaoncommand Please would you do for this part. Usually difficult to deal with, atleast on my side.

    • Cloud
    • April 26, 2016

    Wow, you lived in Brasil? Então você fala português? =D

      • Almokhtar aymen
      • May 24, 2016

      +Gonginah of the egrograsian brotherhood You can’t just ask people why they are white 😂😂

      • Johan Ofinlohigh
      • June 2, 2016

      +Gonginah of the egrograsian brotherhood I know what you mean. I burn even in the winter sometimes and envy the beautiful poop people.

      • southern Traveller
      • July 3, 2016

      tens Twitter?😂

      • southern Traveller
      • July 3, 2016

      +Gustavo fernandes I am from the SOUTH. I am a descendant Of germans and italians. santa Catarina rocks.

    • Calm Banana
    • April 26, 2016

    The one thing I can’t stand out of all these is the passive aggressive attacks. I wish people would just be direct. My ex, boss, and other family members would do this all the time. I’ll try being literal next time and see what their reaction is.

      • Cris
      • April 26, 2016

      +Calm Banana Tell me how it went, I am really interested in how the people you know react to it.
      I have had so many different reactions from people, it is amazing: Some where just confused, others offended and then again others really valued me being more direct to them.

      But out of all, respect was the one thing that came back to me the most. It also feels really good to meet people who do not wear this ‘everyday smile fit-into-society’ mask.

    • Jeb Kush
    • April 26, 2016

    You should do an analysis on the Birdman interview with Breakfast club. Put some respek on it and like if you agree.

      • Jeb Kush
      • April 26, 2016

      He can talk about what not to do when you want confront somebody in a serious matter without looking like a baby.

      • Big Ray
      • April 26, 2016

      Dj akademiks already did this

      • Jeb Kush
      • April 27, 2016

      +Big Ray L

      • Big Ray
      • April 27, 2016

      +Jeb Kush Merely mentioning his name brings the Ls! Please don’t punish me with your harsh Ls. Every L i hold is another cut on my wrist.

      • Mao Nguyen
      • April 1, 2017

      Jeb Kush in

    • Jeb Kush
    • April 26, 2016

    7. Carry your strongest Pokemon cards with you. They will cower in fear.

      • Calm Banana
      • April 26, 2016

      +Jeb Kush If you have a holographic charzard they will fear you, then love you, and then fear how much they love you.

      • Nicholas Hale
      • April 26, 2016

      +Calm Banana it has to be first edition

      • dux mea lux
      • April 14, 2017

      Just throw a Abra card on the ground and when they go to pick it up, make your escape away, like Abra

      • des ray
      • January 26, 2018

      Jeb Kush 😂😂😂

    • Remus
    • April 26, 2016

    I just discovered your channel today through your GOT video about Power and I’ve already watched half of your videos.
    You managed to get a lot of subscribers with not that many total views, a very good ratio, keep it up and this channel will become big! 🙂

      • Charisma on Command
      • April 26, 2016

      +Remus That’s awesome! Glad to hear that the non-GoT videos are getting some love too 🙂

      • ariel brill
      • April 26, 2016

      i agree
      great videos

      • Tim Boland
      • April 26, 2016

      what’s got?

    • DanyHeatley
    • April 26, 2016

    My personal advice is to not show people that you are improving yourself. Hide it, don’t flaunt it. Let them wallow at the bottom of the crab bucket as you covertly become stronger on all dimensions. This makes your success look natural and accidental, leading to less envy and jealousy. Why? Because people will attribute their failures to misfortune if they think you just “got lucky”. On the other hand, if they witnessed all the effort that you put into your transformation, they will be harshly reminded that their own shortcomings are actually their own fault. This, I believe, is what will create vitriol that could have been avoided. Let me know what you think, would love to hear your thoughts on this, even though in your case due to your exposure your friends and family are well aware of your self improvement path.

      • Hugo vR
      • April 26, 2016

      +DanyHeatley I think you mean don’t SHOW-off, if people are genuinely interested, sure tell them about your path, try to teach them something, you may learn something from them as well. I believe your approach is perfect for just about every peasant (90% of people that is). However, do it because you don’t want to deal with their negativity, not because you can’t handle a little envy and jealousy. Literally f*ck what they think, they’re not in your league brother.

      • Joe Maule
      • April 26, 2016

      +DanyHeatley I agree with this completely. To add to this, I think people will be more likely to accept the new you if it seems like a natural transformation. If they know you are putting so much effort into changing yourself, they may think you are “trying to be someone you’re not.” In reality, everyone is changing all the time, so why not make an effort to change in positive ways?

      • Hugo vR
      • April 26, 2016

      +Joe Maule Spot on, “48 Laws of Power” elaborates a great deal on this specific subject. I recommend for anyone wondering what you are exactly talking about; google for a summary and look into law 3,4,8,9 and mainly law 30 regarding this subject 🙂

      • josski32
      • August 14, 2017

      this is genius! I actually do so myself, telling very few people the full extent of my quest for self improvement. it sucks, because like he said, I feel so alone, and no one really realizes how far I’ve come except for myself. but then people like me more, or recently my mom made a comment to me about how much better I’ve become, and it feels so great. aside from the fact that actual results feel so much better than talking about it, and that talking about it makes me feel all vain and boastful

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